Marriage

Who would have guessed that "marriage" would be the big issue for our generation? So much antagonism about proposition 8 in California...people argue about equal rights, civil rights movements, and justice. I only argue for one thing: morality. I think we as a country have gotten so concerned about making people "equal" that we have forgotten about what is right.

Most of you reading this agree with me about the sanctity of preserving marriage between a man and woman. What most of you DON'T know, however, is how I came to feel that way. In high school, I had two best friends. One was (and is) a faithful Baptist girl who taught me a lot about tolerance and love for all people. We've had many great conversations about religion and life in general :o) For the most part, we agree on nearly everything, despite supposed differences in religion. My other best friend told me the week before I left for BYU my freshman year that he had a 38 year-old boyfriend the entire summer in Costa Rica. Part of me was surprised that he had decided he was bisexual--people had always wondered but he had always only been interested in girls. Still, when he decided otherwise, he was still my friend and I still wanted him to be happy. I still do. My initial reaction to "gay marriage" as a freshman in college was that if they wanted a committed relationship, who were the rest of us to stop them?

Over the next few years I realized several things:

One, my friend, who always wanted a steady relationship, seems to have little interest in that at the moment. Even when in a relationship he finds himself wandering, and in general he believes an "open relationship" works best for him. From personal experience, I don't think that would be very conducive to a happy marriage.

Two, I am married, and I value that relationship above anything else in the world. My marriage means something--it is committed, it is loving, it is eternal. When I said "yes" to Eric, I said "no" to everyone else, no matter the circumstances. I agreed to put him before myself and to love and support him in everything. I made my family the most important thing in my life and the focus of all my efforts. The idea of divorce, or prenuptial agreements, or cheating would never cross my mind--marriage is a sign of devotion without escape clauses. ,

Three, I value my rights as a parent to teach my children correct principles. Honesty, integrity, industry, compassion, and tolerance rank high on my list of family values. Yes, I want my children to recognize that while people may look or act differently, we are all children of the same God and of infinite worth to Him. I also want my children to recognize that there is a right and wrong in this world. God has given us commandments to protect us from harm, from guilt, from remorse, and from sin. Only by living as He asks can we truly be happy, no matter what others may say. Such laws are eternal--they were not instituted by government and they cannot be undone.

I have no qualms about same sex couples receiving equal rights as it pertains to tax breaks or legal issues. In my mind, legalizing and supporting marriage between same-sex couples does more than this, however; it implies God's acceptance. What most concerns me about this issue is the effect it will have on my children. If same-sex marriage is legalized, children will be taught in schools that having a mom and a dad is the same as having two moms, or two dads. While legally that may be the case, children are too young to understand the ethical and moral differences. In California, 18 children from a charter school opted to attend a school sanctioned field-trip to their teacher's lesbian wedding ceremony. The interim school director argued that because the union was legal, she had no qualms about supporting the outing, and was willing to put her job on the line for the issue. Six year-olds like their teacher, and want her to be happy, so they go to her wedding and see her looking beautiful and so happy--so it must be ok, right?

A family in Massachusetts explains what happened to their family after same-sex marriage was legalized in their state: their five year-old brought home a book about a child being raised by two dads. When they protested, the parents of the kindergartener were informed that because it was legal in the state of Massachusetts, the school could present any information without requiring parental notification. I'm not trying to be a fear-monger or anything like that, I simply want some reassurance that as a parent I will still have the right to teach my children MY values, and at a time when I see fit. Personally, I believe 5 and 6 year-olds do not need a lesson on homosexuality. Let's stick to tying their shoes and learning to read and write.

What many of you may also not know, is that in addition to proposition 8 in California, two other states have a constitutional amendment recognizing marriage only between a man and woman on the ballot: Florida and Arizona. Laws already exist in both states protecting marriage, but the recent court decision in California has led supporters to support a constitutional amendment. California voters passed a law with the same wording, but the law was overturned by a single vote majority in the courts as "unconstitutional." The same thing just happened in Connecticut a few days ago. Senators in California, Florida, and Arizona have worked hard to put this amendment on the ballot for the public vote, and without it, any laws are sure to be eventually struck down by the courts.


AZ Proposition 102: "Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state." As an Arizona resident, I voice my support for the protection of marriage for what it means to me and to my children. I hope you will take the time to consider all sides of the issue and make your own decision. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints wrote this article, entitled "The Divine Institution of Marriage", that answered a lot of my questions. Yes, I may seem intolerant. I may seem uneducated. But in my mind, I can only do what I feel is right.