I love: Rachel

Rachel is 3 months old today! Which means it is only fitting that I post about her 2 month stats :)

Our sweet little one continues to be sweet, and little.

At 10 weeks (I got a little busy at the beginning of November!) she was:

Weight: 9 lb 15.5 oz (10%)
Length: 23" (70%)
Head circumference: 38 cm (10%)
(the chemist in me finds it odd that doctors in the US mix English and metric units like this....)

9 days old

Dear Rachel-Angelo,

I do believe your Nani gave you the perfect nickname. You are charmingly sweet and delicate to hold. You still seem so tiny, weighing in at just over 10 pounds. Because you are relatively tall (long?) for your age you haven't yet picked up any baby rolls, except for a tiny bit of plumping at your hips. You are becoming your own little person, yet you remind me of so many people I love.

You eat like Grandpa Woodhouse, which is to say you are leisurely and savoring every taste. In less politically correct terms, you drink milk like it is molasses and could easily "nurse" for 30 minutes and still complain when the meal is over. Occasionally I feel like one of those drinking containers they use in hamster cages with the little rolling ball at the end, as you sometimes forget to latch and suck and just wait for manna from heaven to fall into your mouth.

You smile and light up like Alyssa. Whenever someone catches your eye your whole face instantly bursts into a huge smile and you start singing. You don't even seem to mind your brother and sister getting centimeters from your face and respond with sweet smiles and arm flailing.

my Mini-Eric (9 days old)

You sleep like your daddy. That is to say you can fall asleep just about anywhere, and sleep through just about anything. You stage a sleep protest about once every 2 weeks, sneaking in 15 minutes catnaps all night and day when I'm not looking, but even then you don't really get fussy, just alert. The rest of the time you sleep like a pro, which is such a refreshing change from your older siblings! It is not uncommon to find you sprawled out on the blanket in the middle of a block building party, fast asleep, while Scotty and Alyssa run in circles around you. When I lay you down in bed, you close your eyes and smile a half smile, as if you are saying:  "it feels so good to just lay down and fall asleep!" You often fall asleep draped across my arm while I am engaged in animated conversations with a friend or playing games with your brother and sister--and often I don't even notice. It is even more common for your daddy and I to exchange amazed glances at your ability to just recognize that you are tired and close your eyes! You also snore like your daddy. I have to admit that it's a cuter feature coming from you :)

You sneeze like your Peeta (Grandpa Larsen). Even from the other room I can hear the massive sneeze-plosion. People unfamiliar with your talents often mistake the build up as you starting to fuss or cry, only to be surprised at the powerful little blasts you can produce. Your daddy and I laugh every time, but despite our best efforts we have been unable to catch the recitals on video.

There are also a million things you do that are distinctly you. I will be sad when you lose some of your "baby" mannerisms, like how you still tuck your legs up under you when you stretch. How you naturally hold your feet with your heels together like Mary Poppins. How your eyes cross when you watch your toes dance, or your satisfied smile when you successfully navigate your fingers into your mouth for slurping. Most of all, I will miss feeling like I still have a tiny bundle, fresh from heaven. I love watching you grow and learn and explore, but part of me selfishly wants to keep you as my baby forever, so I don't find myself longing for another one.

Mary Poppins feet (on her blessing day)

I'll just have to find more reasons to hold you and more time to kiss you.

All my love,
Mama

I love: Alyssa

Lyssabelle. Syssa. Where do I even begin with this girl?

My dear Syssa,

When I imagine myself at age two, I picture you. You are such a character, full of spunk, determination, and sweetness. You are probably more sweet than I was! My days with you are a roller coaster. One second, you are yelling in frustration as you are trying to master a new skill, which you want to figure out and problem solve and complete ALL BY YOURSELF. You have been getting yourself dressed since you were 18 months old, including shoes. You have even taught yourself how to successfully wear socks with flip flops. You can put yourself in footed zip up pajamas. Best of all, you have learned that there are some limitations to your abilities, so after trying a few times, you will ask me to help you do the final snap or to hold your diaper down so you can pull your pre-snapped pants over it. You are insistent about doing things yourself, and often times your learning is accompanied by weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth (though I have recently taught you to say "this is really really hard!" instead of yelling. at least sometimes). Amazingly, once the task is mastered or the tricky shoes are on, you come bouncing out of your room, so proud and ready to show me the great skill you have learned. You don't carry resentment or frustration. Once the hard thing is done, you are right back to your sweet, cheery self.

You are my little singer. Your adorable mispronunciations and sing-song melodies (which are fairly true to pitch) fill the house. And the car. And the hallway, late at night when I think you are sleeping. Your favorite songs to sing: I am a child of God, I love to see the temple, the family name songs (Scotty, Nani, Papa, Lyssabelle, Rachel), The Wise Man and the "Fuelish" Man, Follow the Prophet, and Pickle Pickle Little Star. Last week, after dropping Scotty off at a birthday party, I thought you might be sad to be left behind. I asked you if you had a happy face about a special outing with Mama, and you treated me to "no one likes a frowny face, change it for a "file" - both verses, on endless repeat. I smiled all the way home. A month ago we were celebrating a typical Saturday in LarsenLand; when the college football refs signaled for a false start, you joined right in with them: "do as I'm doing, follow, follow me." Following in your brother's footsteps via bed time song requests, you have walking around the house this week singing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells." Sometimes I forget that you are only two because you carry on such intelligent, two-sided conversation. "How was your day at school today, mama? Did anyone choose to do bad things?" Your dad and I often exchange bemused and amused smiles over your antics.

From birth you have struck me as such an expressive little girl. You pulled tremendous faces! You have since learned how to use those big green eyes of yours. You flash them at me with shrugged shoulders and a sweet impish smile when you are being a mischievous. You are quick to lower your eyebrows and give daddy the evil eye if he starts teasing you, calling you a silly goose (you always reply: "I'm not a silly goose! I am TWO!"). You still unconsciously sign please when you ask nicely.

Basically, every day with you is an adventure. I am always wondering what new thing you are going to try, and master. Because you never give up. I am so delighted to have you for a daughter!

All my love,
Mama

P.S. I'm amazed that with your determination and independence that you are still content to wear diapers. I'm definitely not going to push that issue until you tell me you are ready! I don't think I could survive the pushback :)

I love: Scotty

A few weeks ago, after a late night feeding when I found myself regrettably wide awake, I began composing letters in my head to each of my children. I took advantage of the peace and quiet to take a step back and see my kids from the outside, from the "I can enjoy the little moments and see how special you are without thinking about all the things I'm trying to teach you as you grow" sort of view. I suppose that is the grandparent perspective.

So here it is (at least some parts. Not EVERYTHING that passes through my head is for public consumption!).

Dear Scotty,

Sometimes I see you running around the house and I realize my gerber baby is in full kid mode, complete with karate chop action. You run, jump, and climb on everything. I'll try to do more playing and less telling you to tone it down or just sit still. I'll watch when you say: "mama, look how high I can jump! I can jump all the way from the couch to this tile!" instead of cringing about all the ways I imagine you hurting yourself or breaking something while you hurtle through the air.

I'm amazed by your ability to remember small details and conversations we have. When you see a friend you remember exactly where and when you last played with them--even if it's been months. When you ask me groggily in the middle of the night if we can go to the zoo next Thursday, I have to think twice before I agree because I KNOW no matter how dazed you appear, you will store that bit of information and hold me to it!

You have a natural knack for math and numbers. You used to count from 29 to 2010. Yesterday, instead of singing to yourself while you were helping me clean, you counted to 59. I'm not sure when you realized your mistake or how you corrected it; I just know I miss getting to 2012 using your (much faster!) counting strategy. You constantly ask me questions like "what's 3 + 3 + 4?" and quickly answer them yourself. I take no credit for your apparent math knowledge except for possibly genetics. Can a kid be born knowing how to do math?

I love seeing you put your mind to something and working to achieve it. I often lament that you would rather ask for help than figure something out yourself, but you are starting to see how much you can accomplish by practicing. I credit your music class for that, and for bringing out the music in you. You were never the baby that cooed along with me, or the toddler that walked around the house singing, or even the kid that sang out loud in primary. When you sit at the piano, you finally seem comfortable enough to express yourself musically and it makes my musical heart sing! I'm so glad that at the end of the day, especially our hard days, I can sit by you at the piano and play our little duet.

Most of all, I love all of our talks. Yes, we are ALWAYS talking, but I try to imagine all of the times in the next 15 years where you won't want to talk to me and it makes me cherish your chattiness. You also have a knack for saying the best things. While watching a presidential debate this election season, you surprised both your dad and I by knowing the names of both the candidates. Your fact checking was followed by this gem of an observation: "Why is Obama even trying? He already had a turn! Doesn't he know that you have to share?" Out of the mouths of babes...

I am so glad I got you, my Scotty, with all of your love and personality.

And I'm glad I have this letter to come back to when we're having one of THOSE days and I find myself forgetting just how lucky I am :)

Love,
Mama

Cranky & Chaos: A Mother's Day Story

Some days, it's nice to be reminded why exactly I wanted to be a mom. I saw a great quote on facebook yesterday: "Motherhood: the only place to experience heaven and hell at the same time." For some reason, that has felt really true to me lately. I blame hormones (darn things!). Sometimes just looking at my cute kids is enough to make tear up (in a happy, mom way). Sometimes just hearing them wake up crying for me at ridiculous hours is enough to make me tear up (in a persecuted, mom way). How can I love that my children want so much of me and resent it at the same time? How can I love that I am the most important person in their world, and at the same time be dying for the opportunity to use the bathroom by myself just once? I feel like I spend most of my day longing for a break, only to find I don't know what to do with myself when they aren't hanging all over me. Kids: can't live with them, can't imagine living without them.

Peek- a-boo!

Much credit goes to Eric for a fabulous Mother's Day. Gourmet french toast in bed, fresh strawberries, whipped vanilla frosting, real maple syrup...not to mention the middle of the night help when Alyssa woke up with a fever, the shakes, a croupy cough, wheezing, and breaking out in hives. It felt odd to be in church without half of my family, but I have primary duties so Eric stayed home with the sick one and I got some quality time with Scotty. After church I got a nice long nap and a tremendous dinner all of Eric's creation. He even did all the cleaning up so I didn't have a house to reclaim after a fun weekend!

Check out this awesomeness: that's bacon-wrapped chicken from a homemade marinade with red and green pepper and onion, perfectly grilled

You can smell the goodness!

Most of all, it was a wonderful Mother's Day because I felt truly grateful to be a mom. These last few weeks have been rough for me for a lot of reasons, not limited to still feeling sick 6 months into this pregnancy and crazy hormones. I've kind of felt like I was living in a fog, not able to recognize or enjoy the little moments that make it all worthwhile. Let me tell you, without the little kodak/hallmark moments, it is REALLY hard to be home with small children. The best part of my day was just getting to enjoy those glimpses of heaven that sneak in amongst the long days.

It's hard to get a good picture of 2 independent children. I love that she carries her babies in a sling :)

Of course, I have to celebrate the 2.5 little ones that call me Mama. I jokingly refer to them as Cranky and Chaos (I need a nickname for this new little one--so far I refer to her as Thumper because she's become quite the mover and shaker in there). Usually Scotty is Chaos and Alyssa is Cranky, but it seems I always have one of each. One is unhappy and needing extra attention, which leaves the obviously deprived one to his or her own devices of insanity. Without further ado, here are some pictures of my favorite little ones.

At Disney on Ice about to see his favorite movie characters

playing with Papa before the big ultrasound (yes, it was AT MY HOUSE. best thing ever!)

Felt shape pizza at the Children's Museum

Driving a pencil

Last but not least, I have to give props to my wonderful moms. My mom is my best advocate and biggest cheerleader. She is such a great support, especially when I'm worn out, pregnant, and struggling. She's my damsel in shining armor :) My mother in law is always telling me how wonderful I am, how much she admires me and how I am living my life, offering words of encouragement and absolute trust. If you listen to these two women, you'd think I was perfect! I learn so much from both of them about how to love. I hope someday I can grow up to be just like them :)

Happy Mother's Day!

Count Your Blessings

 1. A finite number of teeth to fit in this little mouth.

2. On normal days, there are more happy shrieks than angry ones.

3. She still loves me, even when I'm cranky back at her.

4. Music--a great distraction.

5. Nice weather outside.

6. Someone to make me laugh.

7. Two best friends.

In related news, my attempted auction of the above pictured children garnered ZERO bids, so I'm happy I get to keep them after all :o)