The Philosopher

Scotty asks deep questions. While driving home from church he started a very involved discussion.

S: "When my daddy gets old and dies, will I not have a daddy anymore?"
Meg: "Daddy will always be your daddy, no matter what."
S: "But when he's dead he won't be around to be my daddy."
Meg: "He'll be in heaven but he'll still love you, watch over you, and care about you--he'll always be your daddy."
S: "But if he's in heaven he's not here on Earth, so it's not really the same."
Meg: "Feel free to jump in here anytime, Eric."
Eric: "I'm not dead, so don't worry about it."

We had this one over dinner:

Scotty: "What does 'birth' mean? Is it a bad thing?"
Meg: "Birth? It means the day you were born--when a baby comes out of the mommy's tummy, and it's a wonderful thing."
Scotty: "Then why do we have to protect people from birth if it's not a bad thing?"
Meg: "What? Where are you getting this?"
Scotty: "Like in the song! 'to protect me from birth'."
Meg: (singing in her head) "My choice was to come to this lovely home on Earth, to seek for God's light to DIRECT me from birth" (thank you, calling as the Primary Chorister!)

Meg: "The words are 'direct me from birth'."
Scotty: "so we should stay away from it?"

Meg: "English is a silly language, Scotty."

Crayon Frustration

Scotty has been going to preschool twice a week for several months now, and it's a great break for both of us. I am very impressed with all of the things he is learning, and now I REALLY never know what will come out of his mouth. Saturday, it was the Pledge of Allegiance ("One nation, under God, invisible, with justice for all"). Many days it is funny Halloween songs (see this post) or nursery rhymes. This morning, it was crayon frustration.

Me, watching him draw a goldfish: "That is great, Scotty! You drew a great smooth line and even drew a happy face!"
Scotty, with a very sad look on his face: "But my goldfish turned into a sock!"
(it did only have one tail fin, so the boy had a point)

While writing his name, I noticed that the "O" had a tail...so I asked him about it.
Scotty: "That's the ladder for it to stand on because it didn't make it down to the line."
Makes perfect sense to me....

"I Know Everything Now!"

The Scottish never ends around here. A few gems from the past 24 hours.

Scene 1: Our fabulously green backyard.
Scotty is running around in circles on the lawn playing a variety of games with a friend. Because the Diamondbacks are currently in the NL playoffs, Scotty has taken to cheering for himself, baseball style. Alyssa gets in on the action by clapping along.
"Let's go, Scotty-d-backs, *clap*clap*clap clap clap*" he yells, waving his bat in the air (he bats left, by the way). "Throw the ball to me, mama!"
He swings, connects, and sends the ball flying....two feet away.
"I get to run!" he yells, taking off, while I pretend to chase him. "Look how far I made it, mama!" he says when I don't catch him. "I'm safe on the first endzone!"

I guess we're still football fans at heart here in Larsenland.



Scene 2: the kitchen table
Scotty is doing his "homework" for preschool, which involves reciting some poems and nursery rhymes, and writing his name 5 times by himself. What used to take lots of attention and help from mama now gets done in seconds, and amazingly well.
"Scotty, look how much you've learned since you started school," I said, showing him some of his best letters and tracings.
"I know!" he exclaimed excitedly, "I know EVERYTHING now!"

And I am just beginning to learn how much you can love someone who makes your head spin :o)

Scotty thinks he's the boss

These are too good to not write down! Can't really say that I'm proud, but at least I get a laugh out of our conversations...

"In four hours I have to go to work and say guacamole. That's what daddy does at work all day."

"Mom, your job is to take care of Alyssa and Scotty. And say nice things. My job is jumping on people's beds. It's how I make guacamole."

"Mom, I need you to listen the first time I say something. That's what Jesus wants. And Jesus wants you to not vacuum while I'm watching my cartoons. That makes him sad. You can't make Jesus cry, mom, it's not nice."

"When I'm bigger I'm going to have two big dogs, and their names will be Peanut Butter and Jelly, but I won't eat them."

"Mom you'll be so proud of me--I didn't rub my nose on your carpet! (um, thank you?) I just went like this (pinching nose) and wiped it in my hair..."  GROSS!

Concern

What kids get upset about gives a lot of insight into their personality.

Alyssa freaks out if she can't see me, or if she's tired, can't grab hold of my hair and burrow in.

Scotty? Just brought me the Woody toy and desperately tried to get me to take his shoe off.

"Why Scotty? His shoes don't come off..." I questioned.

"But mom! It needs to come off! He keeps saying there is a snake in there!"



Even after a billion times watching that movie... :o)

My kiddos

I love watching these two play. At times I get frustrated because Scotty is being silly instead of listening, like popping out from behind the couch and making faces while I'm trying to put his shoes on. It's hard to get mad, however, when I see Alyss'a face light up and burst into giggles. When we're driving in the car and she gets frustrated she alternates between crying and spitting, and Scotty thinks it's the funniest thing ever. It's hard to stay frustrated when you hear giggles from the back seat!

Here are the 6 month Alyssa stats:

Weight: 16 lb, 6 oz (50%) mostly around the middle--this girl has a bubble bum and it's hard to find pants that can fit over the bump!
Length: 27 1/4" (90-95%) this girl is tall and stretchy!
Head: 44 cm (80%) shirts stop fitting her when I can't get them over her head
Likes: watching Scotty, grabbing for everything, eating paper, singing, and chewing on things
New tricks: sucking on her thumb instead of her pointer finger, rolling over the other shoulder (she rolls back to front and front to back both ways now and is a talented little log roller), sitting on her own without getting distracted and tipping over, tucking her legs under her and scooching forward. This girl is determined to move!
Night wakings: still at least one, usually two. Better since we started cereal, she consistently goes 5 hour stretches without eating, as opposed to 3.
Favorite toys: anything that makes crinkly noises, including plastic bags and paper so I have to keep my eye out. She's tricky and will finangle anything into her mouth.
Teeth: NONE! (thanks!)
Quirks: her crazy hair has gotten even more ridiculous. It is finally filling in around the back and the front but it's still short. The long pieces, however, are now about 4 inches long and stick crazy directions. I can put her long pieces into substantial looking ponytails, but she looks like a little sumo wrestler with the fuzz in the front....

And the newest Scottish? While bathing a month ago Scotty spotted Alyssa's birthmark (she has a dark spot on her hip). After I convinced hims he had not gone to the bathroom in the tub and that the spot wouldn't rub off if he touched it I tried to explain to him what a birthmark is. After a few minutes of deep thought and lots of questions, he declared: "Jesus gave her a polka dot!"

I love this kid.

All on a Wednesday Morning

well it's that time again: time for laundry, packing, and cleaning the house before we leave for Utah tomorrow. Which means I have my two helpers, one in the sling drooling all over everything and one providing commentary. Some gems:

"Hey Megan (yes, he's started calling me Megan all the time. Makes me feel like the babysitter, especially when we're out and about). Megan, Alyssa has some yuckies coming out."

Meg: "from her mouth?"

Scottish: "no."

Meg: "her diaper?"

Scottish: "no, from her head."

Meg questioningly: "her head?"

Scottish: "yeah, the nose part of her head. and it's blowing bubbles."

Thanks for the clarification, kiddo.

As I was unpacking a few things still in bags from last trip (hey, to my credit it's only been 2 weeks) Scotty excitedly declared: "this smells like Grandpa Woodhouse!" It was in fact something from his house, so I suppose he has a distinct aura about him.

He's also taken to correcting me whenever I say a "not nice" word. Unfortunately, his definition is a little vague. When I told him "no" he couldn't have fruit snacks for breakfast this morning he jumped all over me: "That's not a nice word you said, Megan. You better say sorry for saying that not nice word to me. You better say yes, because that's a nice word."

New Mexican Scottish

Life is chaotic around here as we just got back from a fabulous week long vacation to Colorado. Being a family of four makes it expensive to fly, not to mention crazy with luggage and baby accessories, so we split our 14 hour drive into two days each way. Our first family roadtrip! The minivan makes all the difference :o)

Driving across New Mexico is boring. It's flat, straight, and filled with cows. I was having flashbacks of Nebraska, only with dirt instead of a grass. (Apologies to anyone from NM, I'm sure there are lovely areas!). Scotty was getting a little bored in his carseat, so Eric told him to direct his toy gun out the window and catch us some cows for dinner. For the next 20 minutes he was occupied "booming cows" out the window. Wanting to broaden his life experience a little bit, I started a discussion about milk.

Meg: "Alyssa drinks milk from mama, but your milk comes from cows."
Scotty: "You're so weird, mama. My milk comes from the fridge!"

Clearly, the boy did NOT grow up on a farm.

Another obvious bit of Scottish: he's a bossy kid. It stated with "STOP SINGING!" and progressed to "I'm not talking to you, daddy, I'm talking to mama!" We've been working on this without much effect. I did notice some specific progress during the long drive however. Common phrases from the backseat included: "Excuse me, I'm talking to daddy" and "no thank you singing, mama." Ha! Progress indeed. Politely worded bossiness? I'll take it!

There's a boy talking at our house

AKA: your most recent update of Scottish.

Scotty has started giving me descriptive sentences. "There's a boy in this room playing with a race track." "There's a daddy in the front room playing a football game." "Mom, watch out! There's a boy sitting behind this door getting squished!"

Also, I think he watches too many movies. Some of his recent comments:
"A cereal bowl? He's supposed to be dead!" followed closely by, "A spoon? He's supposed to be dead! Yeah, weird." (can anyone name the movie and the actual quote?)

Yesterday at Michael's he was excited to show me something on the next aisle.
S: "Mama, come look! A kangaroo family!"
Meg: "Kangaroos?" (it is decorating season, after all, and Kangaroos don't really hit the list for Thanksgiving or Christmas)
S: "Yeah, Kangaroos! Like Bambi!"
Ah. Turns out it was a family of mechanical reindeer.

After watching Alice in Wonderland, he sat me down to tell me a story.
S: "In my world, there would be trains. And trucks. And cars. And Lightning McQueen. And Alyssa."
Meg: "sounds like a cool world. Would anyone else be there? Like mama or daddy?"
S: "Nope, just Scotty and Alyssa. And Christopher Robin Hood. The end."

And of course, his latest "mom" line. I was making him stir fry rice and talking while I cooked. "You're not a girl, mama," he said, "you're a mom." Fishing for compliments, I asked: "An awesome mom?" His response? "No, you're just a mom. You'll be awesome after you finish cooking me lunch."

At least he's a man who knows what he wants.

Scottish

Life with two kids is always unpredictable. There are a few things I can always count on, however.

1. Eric will happily eat whatever I have thrown together for dinner. Even if this is frozen pizza for the third day in a row. Or leftovers that have been in the fridge for a week already. Or nothing.

2. Alyssa will drool all over her clothes and mine, have crazy hair, and make adorable faces.

3. I will be tired.

4. Scotty will say something that makes me laugh out loud. Recently these have appeared as facebook statuses, but I also keep a few priceless gems in the sidebar.

Some recent highlights:

"You're not my mommy right now. Soon. Maybe later. I think after Christmas."

S: "Nephi and I were fighting. With swords."
Meg: "Why were you fighting Nephi? He's a good guy!"
S: "Nephi was hitting me with a sword because he thought I was a monster. I was hitting him with a sword because I'm awesome."

"I think you're tired, mama. You better go lay down and get more sleep--you're acting cranky."

Maybe I'll make "Scottish" a regular feature, a la the man-child version of  cute outfit Friday...what do you think?

A Year in Review

I conducted an interesting experiment today that saved my sanity. It's been a long week with at least one kid crying at all times and very little sleep for any of us, though I'm the only one with an excuse (kids are keeping me up all night!). So I sorted my facebook profile by my status updates, which usually share funny scotty sayings or things that will be funny to me in a few years. Or lots of whining...hmm, I should work on that! Enjoy 2010 (thus far) in review:

January

maybe i'm starting to get used to be an accounting widow....or maybe that's just the chinese food i didn't have to cook talking...

Scotty just shattered an entire gallon bottle of vanilla on the floor. It smells wonderfully Christmasy around here! Much simpler than baking.

February

love watching the Olympics with Scotty. "I want to see the spaceship again, vroom vroom!" he says. He does make a valid point about bobsled...

Scotty spent the whole morning telling me that he would get to hear the "baby's heartbeeps" today....for some reason he doesn't seem as excited now! I think he's starting to realize that he's not getting a dolphin for a sibling.

April

Pregnancy is amazing--been throwing up for 20 weeks and still have managed to gain 12 pounds, right on track. Maybe because I'm self-medicating with ice cream?

Do you ever wonder what bizarre things your behavior teaches your children? Scotty is currently standing next to me and chanting "yay, mama! Throw up again!"

I feel so good today! I actually enjoy the idea and taste of food! so of course i'm binging on Easter candy...

maybe i take scotty shopping too much? he's currently "scanning" my credit card through the computer keyboard....

Scotty thinks the beeping noise construction trucks make when they back up is actually saying "move, move, move, move...." The kid does have a point.

May 

Sat down to play piano today for the first time in awhile...and when I finished Scotty looked at me and said, "that's a pretty song, mama. I liked it." I think that is all the encouragement I need to start practicing again!

i think i've given up on potty training. Plan B: Put Scotty in daycare for a few weeks and let them teach him as I am making absolutely no progress. Plan C? Have "Elder Larsen" embossed on a package of extra large pampers.

nausea, we are no longer friends. from now on, i will no longer even be civil. please don't retaliate.

June

note to Eric: we need a toolbox that LOCKS. or at least sits on a very high shelf :o)

survival = success. happy thursday everyone.

July

i think i have the best husband in the world. nothing says true love like a late night Wendy's run for chicken sandwiches ;o)

FINALLY back from jury duty. Surprised it took all day to decide that having a pregnant lady decide a case that might extend PAST her due date is a bad idea....

August

you know you're a professional mom when spending 2 hours at the DMV counts as "doing something productive"

Happy Birthday to Scotty! Can't believe he's already three and I'm about to start over with a newborn....of course he doesn't know it's his birthday as we celebrated a few weeks ago and if I tell him he'll expect cake :o)

sent the boys off to the Diamondbacks game. hmm, what to do for our first girls' night in? i'm thinking chic flick.

Dearest Darling Alyssa: the sun has gone to bed, and so must I. And therefore you, as well. So stop batting those bright baby eyes at me!

September

I am a much better mom on days that begin at 8:30 instead of 6. If only this happened every day!

two kids: super fun and easy. And sometimes I actually mean that! like right now, when they're both finally sleeping. chocolate, anyone?

got a flu shot today and it HURT. still aches actually...since when did i become a total wimp? six weeks ago i had a baby without meds and now i'm whining about a flu shot? lame.

I turned around to discover a large half watermelon sitting on the kitchen counter. "Don't worry mama," says my 3 year old Scotty while balanced on a kitchen chair, "I used two hands."

October

both kids AND the dog we're watching are asleep, and I'm on facebook?! I must be totally losing my mind. Time for SLEEP!

can Allstate protect me from mayhem like my toddler? i'll pay extra.

I snapped at Scotty after he purposefully dumped an entire bag of goldfish on the floor and he looked at me and said "Chillax, mama, I'll clean them up."

I wonder what he'll say tomorrow.... :o)