Life Like This

Enough with the whining! Not that I've really stopped whining, it's morphed more into a shade of panic, but at least it mostly stays inside my head :) I'm sure I'll feel much better about everything after I meet my new midwives on Monday night. Yep, that's right, NEW midwives at 34.5 weeks. Still mourning the unexpected resignation of my fabulous midwife who has been an emotional rock for me this pregnancy...but hopeful that I click well with the two new ladies who will be involved in the birth of this sweet little baby girl.

The past month has been a whirlwind of fun summer activities and vacation. We spent a wonderful 10 days in Utah with the Larsen clan, which deserves an upcoming post all of its own, as does the fabulous week at the beach in Oceanside we just returned from.

Without further ado, a picture dump of my kids and our summer fun :)

Just after the Moroni was added to the Gilbert, AZ temple! This will be *OUR* temple in a year or two

Last day of swimming lessons! Scotty is finally brave enough to really put his face in the water and have fun looking for toys

It's hot, so I let my kids climb on toys at the mall. And I'm too cheap to put money in!

Happy Father's Day! Probably the most cooking I've done in months. Especially when I can't eat pancakes!

Peter Piper Pizza. Ride on, cowgirl!

Yes, even I rode the miniature carousel.

Driving with papa

Waterfalls and rivers at the zoo

Inside monkey village, watching the spider monkeys eat and jump around.

I promise to be better about blogging, for those of you who actually care. I also promise to keep the pictures flowing and the whining to a minimum :)

Enough

There is a phrase I've heard often that I really don't like. It goes something like this:

"The Lord doesn't give you more than you can handle."

I'm sure it's scripture based and well backed up, but I don't like it. It's like saying to someone gasping for their last breath: "Don't worry. You're not really drowning. It really feels like it and you're miserable and you might die anyway, but it'll all be ok."

Hardly a reassuring sentiment, really. I only find it helpful when I'm on the downward slope. It promises hope that the next dip is the last and life will get easier. In reality, I've usually just begun the bumpy ride. I guess if the above statement feels encouraging to me, I should know that I haven't hit the bottom yet and more is sure to come!

Am I the only one?

It's time like this where I try to dig deep, find the good moments, the tender mercies, and feel grateful for all the blessings I have. I know there are plenty. I know when I search for them, I find them.

But sometimes, frankly, I just want to take a minute to admit that life is NOT peachy. That things are NOT easy, even if they are somehow within my capacity to "handle." In my opinion, merely surviving is not the same as "handling" the things life is throwing at me.

In case you haven't heard my whining on the subject, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes about two weeks ago. It's a lot of fun. It has solidified in my mind that cooking is not a hobby of mine, not a talent, and really not something I care to improve at. I really, really dislike cooking. Maybe if I could treat it like any other hobby of mine, aka doing it obsessively once every few months and then forgetting about it, THEN I would enjoy cooking. Instead, it's a huge drain of resources, time, and energy that just keeps needing more! Kids want to eat everyday! Sometimes even several times a day! Now that I can't eat most of the things my kids will eat, I get to do twice the cooking. I can't eat as much at one time, so I am hungry more often. You guessed it--more cooking! All of this cooking makes me grumpy, and results in more dishes and more messes to clean up. To reward myself for a job well done, I get to check my blood sugar four times a day. My kids mistakenly think this is a really fun activity. They gather to watch. Scotty cleaned his room in record time the other day so he could make it in time to watch the blood. Alyssa often volunteers a finger and tells me it's "Syssa's turn!" Maybe I should wipe off the cheerful face and cry occasionally so they aren't tempted to try it themselves...

Eric has been wonderfully supportive through my whining, helping me find websites with recipes, helping with the cooking whenever he can. I just can't seem to accept it and take it in stride.

In other medical news, Scotty dislocated his elbow ("elbone" according to him) again this week, necessitating a quick trip to the pediatrician's office. He managed the same feat three times in the first 2 years of his life but it had been awhile. Alyssa didn't want to be left out of the fun. Yesterday I rescued her from chemicals, climbing into the toilet, climbing onto the toilet, and just about every counter top in the house before she managed to touch the hot stove. She only managed blisters on three of her fingertips so it could have been a lot worse, but she was pretty upset about it. I think I would feel guilty except she was determined to kill herself yesterday so a few blisters is a pretty good parenting save in the long run. If only I could get her to sleep in past 6am and stop yelling in frustration for the majority of the day, we'd be in good shape...

How are you "handling" life right now?

Random Megness

Yesterday was my birthday, so it's only fitting that I post my stats for the world to read, right? Like I would for my kids? Ok, you probably don't really care how tall I am (5'2.75") or how much I weigh (after a weekend of birthday dinners? Good thing I'm pregnant!), so here are some random things about the life of Meg.

Books I've read in the past month:

• The Help by Kathryn Stockett
• The Wise Man's Fear by Patrick Rothfuss (book 2 in an uncompleted trilogy)
• Sugar Queen, Garden Spells both by Sarah Addison Allen
• I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids by Trisha Ashworth
• The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Book 1 of the Night Angel trilogy by Brent Weeks

I love my NOOK! I also need to get more sleep :o)

Things on my to-do list:

• Write a curriculum for the 3 chemistry classes I'll be teaching starting in the fall. Fortunately, I student taught the first semester so I have a rough outline already, but I want to get as much done this summer as I can. Especially since I need to plan a month of maternity leave into my outline!
• Get rid of Alyssa's pacifiers. Move her into a toddler bed. 
• Paint Scotty's room! Buy bunk beds. Convince myself that my 4 year old will never be tempted to Spiderman off the top bunk or see if he can fly. Try not to panic.
• Take a childbirth refresher course to prepare for the planned waterbirth of baby #3!

Why I don't post many belly pics:

Happy Mother's Day! 25 weeks

 They're just not that exciting yet. Don't get me wrong--we are super excited to meet this little girl. She's clearly a Larsen, full of spunk already, and jumping around and kicking people. Though I do look pregnant enough for people to ask me when I'm due :) I am 27 weeks and hanging in there. Only 3 more months of 110+ degree weather!

Current hobbies:

• sitting in the kiddie pool in the backyard
• taking the kids to the splashpad
• eating lots of cucumbers and watermelon
• watching the Stanley Cup
• not cooking

That about sums it up for me. Anything you are dying to know about Meg?

Let's Play Music

For the past year, Scotty has been part of a class called Let's Play Music taught by a good friend. It teaches some basics about music, mostly through singing, activity, and playing bells, but mostly just lets him have fun with something that I love. Bless his heart, he's pretty much tone deaf and I think he knows it because he tends to not sing. Now he can somewhat match pitch and he seems to enjoy music more, so I consider it a win. He has also picked up a lot of information about rhythm, intervals, recognizing parts and counter-melody, and is starting to learn the basics of reading music from a staff.

A few weeks ago he had his recital. I get to go to class with him every other week so it's all familiar to me, but the rest of the gang (Eric, Nani, and Papa) got a kick of seeing him jump around. He is very enthusiastic and he definitely stands out--he's not the loudest singer, but he's the one bouncing up and down the whole time :o)

he's the only one dancing ;o)

all 3 classes combined

jumping out a scale

demonstrating "skips"

major chords

playing the bells

Alyssa had a good time too

Cranky & Chaos: A Mother's Day Story

Some days, it's nice to be reminded why exactly I wanted to be a mom. I saw a great quote on facebook yesterday: "Motherhood: the only place to experience heaven and hell at the same time." For some reason, that has felt really true to me lately. I blame hormones (darn things!). Sometimes just looking at my cute kids is enough to make tear up (in a happy, mom way). Sometimes just hearing them wake up crying for me at ridiculous hours is enough to make me tear up (in a persecuted, mom way). How can I love that my children want so much of me and resent it at the same time? How can I love that I am the most important person in their world, and at the same time be dying for the opportunity to use the bathroom by myself just once? I feel like I spend most of my day longing for a break, only to find I don't know what to do with myself when they aren't hanging all over me. Kids: can't live with them, can't imagine living without them.

Peek- a-boo!

Much credit goes to Eric for a fabulous Mother's Day. Gourmet french toast in bed, fresh strawberries, whipped vanilla frosting, real maple syrup...not to mention the middle of the night help when Alyssa woke up with a fever, the shakes, a croupy cough, wheezing, and breaking out in hives. It felt odd to be in church without half of my family, but I have primary duties so Eric stayed home with the sick one and I got some quality time with Scotty. After church I got a nice long nap and a tremendous dinner all of Eric's creation. He even did all the cleaning up so I didn't have a house to reclaim after a fun weekend!

Check out this awesomeness: that's bacon-wrapped chicken from a homemade marinade with red and green pepper and onion, perfectly grilled

You can smell the goodness!

Most of all, it was a wonderful Mother's Day because I felt truly grateful to be a mom. These last few weeks have been rough for me for a lot of reasons, not limited to still feeling sick 6 months into this pregnancy and crazy hormones. I've kind of felt like I was living in a fog, not able to recognize or enjoy the little moments that make it all worthwhile. Let me tell you, without the little kodak/hallmark moments, it is REALLY hard to be home with small children. The best part of my day was just getting to enjoy those glimpses of heaven that sneak in amongst the long days.

It's hard to get a good picture of 2 independent children. I love that she carries her babies in a sling :)

Of course, I have to celebrate the 2.5 little ones that call me Mama. I jokingly refer to them as Cranky and Chaos (I need a nickname for this new little one--so far I refer to her as Thumper because she's become quite the mover and shaker in there). Usually Scotty is Chaos and Alyssa is Cranky, but it seems I always have one of each. One is unhappy and needing extra attention, which leaves the obviously deprived one to his or her own devices of insanity. Without further ado, here are some pictures of my favorite little ones.

At Disney on Ice about to see his favorite movie characters

playing with Papa before the big ultrasound (yes, it was AT MY HOUSE. best thing ever!)

Felt shape pizza at the Children's Museum

Driving a pencil

Last but not least, I have to give props to my wonderful moms. My mom is my best advocate and biggest cheerleader. She is such a great support, especially when I'm worn out, pregnant, and struggling. She's my damsel in shining armor :) My mother in law is always telling me how wonderful I am, how much she admires me and how I am living my life, offering words of encouragement and absolute trust. If you listen to these two women, you'd think I was perfect! I learn so much from both of them about how to love. I hope someday I can grow up to be just like them :)

Happy Mother's Day!