I love: Rachel

Rachel is 3 months old today! Which means it is only fitting that I post about her 2 month stats :)

Our sweet little one continues to be sweet, and little.

At 10 weeks (I got a little busy at the beginning of November!) she was:

Weight: 9 lb 15.5 oz (10%)
Length: 23" (70%)
Head circumference: 38 cm (10%)
(the chemist in me finds it odd that doctors in the US mix English and metric units like this....)

9 days old

Dear Rachel-Angelo,

I do believe your Nani gave you the perfect nickname. You are charmingly sweet and delicate to hold. You still seem so tiny, weighing in at just over 10 pounds. Because you are relatively tall (long?) for your age you haven't yet picked up any baby rolls, except for a tiny bit of plumping at your hips. You are becoming your own little person, yet you remind me of so many people I love.

You eat like Grandpa Woodhouse, which is to say you are leisurely and savoring every taste. In less politically correct terms, you drink milk like it is molasses and could easily "nurse" for 30 minutes and still complain when the meal is over. Occasionally I feel like one of those drinking containers they use in hamster cages with the little rolling ball at the end, as you sometimes forget to latch and suck and just wait for manna from heaven to fall into your mouth.

You smile and light up like Alyssa. Whenever someone catches your eye your whole face instantly bursts into a huge smile and you start singing. You don't even seem to mind your brother and sister getting centimeters from your face and respond with sweet smiles and arm flailing.

my Mini-Eric (9 days old)

You sleep like your daddy. That is to say you can fall asleep just about anywhere, and sleep through just about anything. You stage a sleep protest about once every 2 weeks, sneaking in 15 minutes catnaps all night and day when I'm not looking, but even then you don't really get fussy, just alert. The rest of the time you sleep like a pro, which is such a refreshing change from your older siblings! It is not uncommon to find you sprawled out on the blanket in the middle of a block building party, fast asleep, while Scotty and Alyssa run in circles around you. When I lay you down in bed, you close your eyes and smile a half smile, as if you are saying:  "it feels so good to just lay down and fall asleep!" You often fall asleep draped across my arm while I am engaged in animated conversations with a friend or playing games with your brother and sister--and often I don't even notice. It is even more common for your daddy and I to exchange amazed glances at your ability to just recognize that you are tired and close your eyes! You also snore like your daddy. I have to admit that it's a cuter feature coming from you :)

You sneeze like your Peeta (Grandpa Larsen). Even from the other room I can hear the massive sneeze-plosion. People unfamiliar with your talents often mistake the build up as you starting to fuss or cry, only to be surprised at the powerful little blasts you can produce. Your daddy and I laugh every time, but despite our best efforts we have been unable to catch the recitals on video.

There are also a million things you do that are distinctly you. I will be sad when you lose some of your "baby" mannerisms, like how you still tuck your legs up under you when you stretch. How you naturally hold your feet with your heels together like Mary Poppins. How your eyes cross when you watch your toes dance, or your satisfied smile when you successfully navigate your fingers into your mouth for slurping. Most of all, I will miss feeling like I still have a tiny bundle, fresh from heaven. I love watching you grow and learn and explore, but part of me selfishly wants to keep you as my baby forever, so I don't find myself longing for another one.

Mary Poppins feet (on her blessing day)

I'll just have to find more reasons to hold you and more time to kiss you.

All my love,
Mama

I love: Alyssa

Lyssabelle. Syssa. Where do I even begin with this girl?

My dear Syssa,

When I imagine myself at age two, I picture you. You are such a character, full of spunk, determination, and sweetness. You are probably more sweet than I was! My days with you are a roller coaster. One second, you are yelling in frustration as you are trying to master a new skill, which you want to figure out and problem solve and complete ALL BY YOURSELF. You have been getting yourself dressed since you were 18 months old, including shoes. You have even taught yourself how to successfully wear socks with flip flops. You can put yourself in footed zip up pajamas. Best of all, you have learned that there are some limitations to your abilities, so after trying a few times, you will ask me to help you do the final snap or to hold your diaper down so you can pull your pre-snapped pants over it. You are insistent about doing things yourself, and often times your learning is accompanied by weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth (though I have recently taught you to say "this is really really hard!" instead of yelling. at least sometimes). Amazingly, once the task is mastered or the tricky shoes are on, you come bouncing out of your room, so proud and ready to show me the great skill you have learned. You don't carry resentment or frustration. Once the hard thing is done, you are right back to your sweet, cheery self.

You are my little singer. Your adorable mispronunciations and sing-song melodies (which are fairly true to pitch) fill the house. And the car. And the hallway, late at night when I think you are sleeping. Your favorite songs to sing: I am a child of God, I love to see the temple, the family name songs (Scotty, Nani, Papa, Lyssabelle, Rachel), The Wise Man and the "Fuelish" Man, Follow the Prophet, and Pickle Pickle Little Star. Last week, after dropping Scotty off at a birthday party, I thought you might be sad to be left behind. I asked you if you had a happy face about a special outing with Mama, and you treated me to "no one likes a frowny face, change it for a "file" - both verses, on endless repeat. I smiled all the way home. A month ago we were celebrating a typical Saturday in LarsenLand; when the college football refs signaled for a false start, you joined right in with them: "do as I'm doing, follow, follow me." Following in your brother's footsteps via bed time song requests, you have walking around the house this week singing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells." Sometimes I forget that you are only two because you carry on such intelligent, two-sided conversation. "How was your day at school today, mama? Did anyone choose to do bad things?" Your dad and I often exchange bemused and amused smiles over your antics.

From birth you have struck me as such an expressive little girl. You pulled tremendous faces! You have since learned how to use those big green eyes of yours. You flash them at me with shrugged shoulders and a sweet impish smile when you are being a mischievous. You are quick to lower your eyebrows and give daddy the evil eye if he starts teasing you, calling you a silly goose (you always reply: "I'm not a silly goose! I am TWO!"). You still unconsciously sign please when you ask nicely.

Basically, every day with you is an adventure. I am always wondering what new thing you are going to try, and master. Because you never give up. I am so delighted to have you for a daughter!

All my love,
Mama

P.S. I'm amazed that with your determination and independence that you are still content to wear diapers. I'm definitely not going to push that issue until you tell me you are ready! I don't think I could survive the pushback :)

I love: Scotty

A few weeks ago, after a late night feeding when I found myself regrettably wide awake, I began composing letters in my head to each of my children. I took advantage of the peace and quiet to take a step back and see my kids from the outside, from the "I can enjoy the little moments and see how special you are without thinking about all the things I'm trying to teach you as you grow" sort of view. I suppose that is the grandparent perspective.

So here it is (at least some parts. Not EVERYTHING that passes through my head is for public consumption!).

Dear Scotty,

Sometimes I see you running around the house and I realize my gerber baby is in full kid mode, complete with karate chop action. You run, jump, and climb on everything. I'll try to do more playing and less telling you to tone it down or just sit still. I'll watch when you say: "mama, look how high I can jump! I can jump all the way from the couch to this tile!" instead of cringing about all the ways I imagine you hurting yourself or breaking something while you hurtle through the air.

I'm amazed by your ability to remember small details and conversations we have. When you see a friend you remember exactly where and when you last played with them--even if it's been months. When you ask me groggily in the middle of the night if we can go to the zoo next Thursday, I have to think twice before I agree because I KNOW no matter how dazed you appear, you will store that bit of information and hold me to it!

You have a natural knack for math and numbers. You used to count from 29 to 2010. Yesterday, instead of singing to yourself while you were helping me clean, you counted to 59. I'm not sure when you realized your mistake or how you corrected it; I just know I miss getting to 2012 using your (much faster!) counting strategy. You constantly ask me questions like "what's 3 + 3 + 4?" and quickly answer them yourself. I take no credit for your apparent math knowledge except for possibly genetics. Can a kid be born knowing how to do math?

I love seeing you put your mind to something and working to achieve it. I often lament that you would rather ask for help than figure something out yourself, but you are starting to see how much you can accomplish by practicing. I credit your music class for that, and for bringing out the music in you. You were never the baby that cooed along with me, or the toddler that walked around the house singing, or even the kid that sang out loud in primary. When you sit at the piano, you finally seem comfortable enough to express yourself musically and it makes my musical heart sing! I'm so glad that at the end of the day, especially our hard days, I can sit by you at the piano and play our little duet.

Most of all, I love all of our talks. Yes, we are ALWAYS talking, but I try to imagine all of the times in the next 15 years where you won't want to talk to me and it makes me cherish your chattiness. You also have a knack for saying the best things. While watching a presidential debate this election season, you surprised both your dad and I by knowing the names of both the candidates. Your fact checking was followed by this gem of an observation: "Why is Obama even trying? He already had a turn! Doesn't he know that you have to share?" Out of the mouths of babes...

I am so glad I got you, my Scotty, with all of your love and personality.

And I'm glad I have this letter to come back to when we're having one of THOSE days and I find myself forgetting just how lucky I am :)

Love,
Mama

One Month

Time flies by. Even when you're cherishing every minute by not sleeping :)

thanks Auntie Misty for my awesome wardrobe!

Rachel Marie is 5 weeks old already! I went back to work last week and life just keeps marching on. Typically, she is a sweet, mellow little thing who likes to sing and coo, curl up like a frog with her ginormous monkey feet and snores in her sleep. Sometimes, however, she gets in a funk. When funky, she sleeps in 20 minute spurts. She also believes that she should eat every time she wakes, making these funky days even more exhausting for me. I feel like I should do weight checks on myself to see how much she is draining from me! Some days she has my body thinking it made triplets...

Her first few weeks included frequent projectile vomiting that had the doctors concerned she had pyloric stenosis and would require surgery....we have since discovered that she is just a bulimic in training--overeating and then violently re-gifting her largesse. I have to pay attention to how often and how long she nurses because she has no self-control and will just keep eating, but other than that she is growing and perfectly healthy.

she's learning the "shifty" face from her big sister...

Her one month stats:

Weight: 7 lb 12 oz (Scotty's birth weight!) - 10%
Length: 21" - 50%
Head: 36.5 cm - 25%
 (compare to Alyssa's stats here...)

Essentially, my (one week late!) 5 week old is the same size as my first born, but with a smaller head. So petite! She still feels tiny to me. She has yet to outgrow a single thing! I even bought a huge pack of newborn diapers because they fit her so well. She'd be drowning in 1s...

I love those feet! if she was a puppy I'd predict she'd be 6' tall...

Her favorite things:
1) eating
2) being held
3) curling up with mama (I love my new wrap! it makes babies so portable. She even nursed while I walked the older kids around Ikea today)
4) singing to daddy
5) watching her siblings play
6) sleeping

She's a pretty good sleeper (except those Funky days). Unlike my older two, this one will just fall asleep wherever she is when she needs a nap. Even if that place is a blanket in the middle of a pile of toys with the older two running laps and yelling. It's a tender mercy and practically a miracle that she gets any sleep around here. In fact, she probably has a hard time sleeping at night because despite our best efforts with a white noise machine, a fan, Eric snoring, and the music from her swing, we just can't recreate the Chaos that exists most of the daylight hours around here.

True to form, she fell asleep whilst chilling on her blanket as I typed this. Angel!

Ah, the blessings of being the third child. We love you, RachelAngelo!

The Birth Center is not the Hospital (but it's not a cave either!)

A birth center is not a hospital--but it's not a cave either :)

First, for those of you who are medically inclined or otherwise curious, here are the medical procedures I *did* have at the birth center.

the Larsen Ladies

5 days old!

For me:
 Check of temperature, blood pressure, pulse when I arrived. One course of IV antibiotics to prevent transfer of Group B strep bacteria, 1 hour before delivery. General timing of contractions based on watching me have contractions. Check of my temperature and blood pressure after getting in the tub. One cervical check that revealed complete dilation at 5:30am. Shot of pitocin in the leg after delivery to slow bleeding (this is not routine but was based on the above average amount of bleeding I had). Post delivery check of fundal height, uterine contractions, and determination of bleeding several times during my stay.

For Rachel:
Monitoring of heartbeat upon arrival at birth center, during a contraction, and after entering thee tub and between pushing contractions. This monitoring was for a minute or two at a time and could have been done with the doppler or the fetalscope; my nurse used the doppler so we could all hear the heartbeat. There were no concerns and she always sounded great! Delayed cord clamping--the midwife waited until the cord had stopped pulsing before clamping the umbilical cord, which Eric cut. He had never gotten to do that before and thought it was pretty cool! Monitoring of temperature frequently after birth, including while still in the tub. Full newborn exam conducted by the midwife when she was an hour old. Full checkup with the pediatrician on day 2, and check up with the nurses at the birth center on day 4.

attack of the ginormous thumb!

What we didn't have:
Pitocin to induce. Epidural. Stitches (hooray!). Fetal monitoring belts. IV tubes and pole. Any time apart! My baby was either in my arms, Eric's, or my mom's. Except when I shared her with my wonderful nurses and doula for some baby love :) but that was because I love those ladies! Baby eye goop (antibiotic to prevent transfer of mom's STDs). Baby vitamin K shot. Hepatitis shot (she did have this at the pediatrician on day 2). Newborn PKU (this was only done once, instead of twice, and was completed by the nurses at the birth center on day 4).

So excited to have a baby sister!

What I missed about being in the hospital:

1. Having food delivered to my door without having to make it.
2. Hospital pictures of my newborn (just because I have them with my other two!) Though my doula took pictures I'm just waiting to see!
3. A remote controlled bed so I could sit up without arranging pillows or having to use non-existent stomach muscles.
4. The awesome, ginormous cup with a straw which is great for drinking while nursing.
5. The ease and routine of newborn paperwork, like a birth certificate! It is easier when you have your baby in a traditional hospital.

What I didn't miss about being in the hospital:

1. Actually eating the hospital food.
2. Bright lights and linoleum.
3. Hospital gowns that hang open in the back and have convenient front pockets that gape open unexpectedly, exposing your breasts to random people as you walk the halls.
4. Having a shared bathroom after delivery!
5. Having to spend my first recovery night without Eric because of having a roommate.
6. Spending the recovery night at the hospital with nurse interruptions and beeping monitors.
7. Having to get out of the tub for the last hour of contractions!

LONG feet and monkey toes!

What I LOVED about the birth center:

1. The huge tub. Getting in the tub. Staying in the tub. Having Eric in the tub with me!
2. Knowing all of my care providers, including nurses, beforehand. There wasn't a single person in my space that I didn't already know.
3. Wearing my own clothes. At first I thought this would be a downside, because what do you wear in labor? And what if it gets all gross? But in the end it was so nice to just wear whatever I wanted to at the time, including a super comfy skirt that I could happily live in. I ALWAYS felt comfortable, and my stuff didn't get messy at all.
4. Not having tight bands strapped to my stomach. I can tell that I'm having contractions without them showing up on a printout! It was MUCH more comfortable to not have them. With Alyssa I had periods of time with the monitors on and even got in the tub with them, but it was still a relief to have them removed.
5. Not having a tube in my arm. I still have my IV antibiotics, but the only thing left was a bandaid. It was nice to not worry about snagging it on something! I chose to have a heplock in delivery with Alyssa (the IV needle inserted but closed off and taped down without any attached tubing) in case I bled out and needed a transfusion. It was nice to not have that this time, but I would have had it if I was worried about that complication.
6. Seeing my bright eyed baby gaze up at me. No meds. No eye goop. No sticking and poking her with things for her first day!
7. Getting to have Eric with me the whole time, and not having to send the baby off somewhere with him while I stayed behind. After delivery we curled up together (Eric and I, mom had Rachel) and took a nice nap on a super comfy bed.

her bracelet is her "hospital bracelet" and it says "Larsen"

So those are my thoughts. If I had another one (which I  don't think I will but I can't make that final of a decision right now!) I would do it exactly the same way. Especially if he/she was also petite as that makes delivery that much nicer :)